Host Family Guide to a Successful Au Pair Year

When your au pair arrives

• Have their room ready and clean with a waste paper basket, laundry basket, bulletin board, and a small arrival gift or basket.
• Encourage them to call home to let their parents know they are now with their host family.
• Ask about their room (do they have everything they need).
• Spend the entire first week showing them everything in your home.
• Ask them to operate all appliances to make sure they know how to do it.
• Remember that the amount of time and training in the first month directly affects the type of relationship you have the entire year.
• Ask your au pair questions about their home, their country, their family, and ask to see the pictures they brought with them.
• Ask them how you can make them feel welcome in regards to cultural differences, food, customs, etc.
• Help them to get their Social Security card and bank account right away. They will need this to get a driver’s license.
• Realize that the change of coming here is HUGE. Cultural shock is evident in most au pairs, as is some amount of homesickness.
• Spend the first weekend reviewing your au pair notebook together with your au pair.
• Try to get them out driving as soon as possible (during the first week is best).
• Be sure to give your au pair a wrtten schedule for the first week and every week thereafter.
• Present role-playing scenarios, i.e. what should they do if a stranger comes to the door, how would they react if the children were acting [x].
• Model, model, model...set the example in our house of how you want t see your au pair fit into your family.
• Introduce your au pair to your neighbors and neighborhood.
• Show them how to cook basic things for your children
• Teach your au pair what to do in caseo f power failure, tornado warning, etc.
• Take them to the local college to help get them enrolled.
• Help them get proper documentation for a dicense if required by your state.
• Support and facilitate attendance to ALL au pair functions.
• Make lots of lists and have them on view to help your au pair throughout the day.

Communication

• Good communication is the key to a great year; we cannot stress this enough!
• Make a good Au Pair Notebook… ask us if you would like a sample for a guideline.
• Use the www.AuPairUSA.org web site as a valuable tool for host families.
• Help your au pair feel welcome and that they are truly part of your family.
• Bond with your au pair, as you want them to bond with your children.
• Pick your battles: they cannot be perfect in everything they do, decide what is most important.
• It is never acceptable to yell at your au pair, talk to them as an adult with respect.
• Show appreciation. Say “thank you” all the time even if they do not.
• Have weekly meetings with no interruptions of the phone or children. This helps prevent small problems from becoming big problems.
• Read the newsletter each month.
• Your au pair lives in the house too. Share with them what is happening in your home when they are working and when they are not (family illnesses, out of town guests, etc).
• Stress the importance of family privacy, what happens in your home should stay in your home.
• Let them know if they are being included in vacations, dinners out, etc.
  

Work Responsibilities

• Au pairs are responsible for all tasks related to children.
• Au pairs wash the children’s clothes and their own, not the host parent’s clothes.
• Au pairs are to HELP with dishes and clean up as a family member only. They are not responsible for doing the entire clean up alone.
• If an au pair does a chore that is not part of their responsibility, this cannot become an expectation of the host parent.
• Take the au pair through each of the children's rooms and explain your expectations, be specific and detailed.  What should the children do and what should the au pair do.
• An au pair should only deliver the house in the condition that it was received. They are not required to clean up toys, dishes, nor the home from when they were off.
• Show them how you want the counters left, food put away, mivrowave, refridgerator, etc.
• Show them how you sort, wash, fold, and put away clothes.
  

The Schedule

• Please be on time or build extra time into the schedule. At a minimum, make a phone call if you are running late.
• Schedule changes should be rare, not a weekly occurrence.
• A written schedule must be posted no later than Monday morning with a maximum of 45 hours a week/ 10 hours per day.
• There can only be one split in the day and the break for the au pair must be at least 2 hours.
• They should have Saturday or Sunday off as their full day.
• A half-day is a day with no more than 5 work hours and no split.
• Friday or Saturday night should be off so they can go out with friends on a weekend night.
• Vacation should not be taken until after 6 months. Vacations are decided mutually. If this cannot be done, then the au pair may choose one week and the host parents choose the other week.
• Remember: Cluster meetings are mandatory and you may not schedule your au pair to work during a cluster meeting.
• Try to plan the schedule around the au pair social events if at all possible.
• When you have your au pair with you on vacation; you must give your au pair a written schedule following the same rules as if you were at home.
• ALL sleeping hours count. Example: if you leave for work at 5:00 AM and the kids and the kids do not get up until 7:00 AM, this is still counted as 2 work hours for your au pair as they are the responsible adult in the home.
• Pay your au pair each week on the same day without them needing to remind you. It is always difficult when an au pair needs to ask for money.
• Decide at the beginning of the month what weekend will be your au pair’s weekend off.

About Your Children

• Empower your au pair. Back them up on all discipline in front of the kids, even if you disagree. The host parents and au pair must be a team and have consistency with the kids.
• Never discuss an au pair’s decision nor issue you have with your au pair in front of the kids.
• It’s difficult for your au pair if the kids only respond to yelling.
• Be consistent: things that you expect your au pair to do are the same things you should do, set an example.
• Ask about what happened during the day when you come home. Use open-ended questions vs. “yes” and “no” questions.
• Understand that American children are different than children are in other countries. Find out how they are different.
• Set limits for the children and teach them to respect when your au pair is not working.
• Include your au pair in IMPORTANT children’s activities.
• Do not allow the children to call you for little decisions. Your au pair should make the call to you if it is necessary.

Your Home

• Make sure there is enough food in your house for another person.
• Be sure the fridge is stocked with foods for an adult to eat, not just for kids.
• Buy some of their favorite things to eat (within reason).
• If you get carry out for dinner, make sure there is enough for them to eat too.
• Include your au pair in family dinners.
• Things may not always be done as you would like them, but there is more than one way to do things.
• Tell your au pair when it’s appropriate to use your computer and for how long.

Your Au Pair’s Room

• The au pair’s room is their private place. No personal belongings of the family can be in the au pair’s room.
• Children are often very excited to have a new au pair.  Help them to understand your au pair's "off time" and privacy, especially the au pair's bedroom which must be private and off limit to kids.
  
• Do not go into the au pair’s room without permission unless it is an emergency and then explain it to your au pair.

Driving and the Car

About Your Au Pair