Tips for Host Families with Stay-at-Home Parents

If you are a stay-at-home parent, there are some special guidelines you should try to remember in scheduling your au pair’s 45- hour week.

Pick the au pair’s weekly day and a half off before making any other plans. Block it out and try to keep it consistent. If you can’t do this for an extended period of time, then at least try to do it month to month. This will let the au pair know which days he/she will have off to make plans. Try and schedule the au pair’s full weekend off for the month at the same time.
Then figure out the really “tough times” for you and schedule your au pair to work then. Think about the moments during the day when you could really use a second pair of hands helping you out.
Finally, look and see how many of the remaining 45 hours are available. Use those hours in as large a block as possible. For instance, if you give the au pair Sunday and Monday morning off, and schedule him/her to work 4pm to 8pm other days, you will have used 24 hours for the week. You might then check to see what your children’s school schedules are like, your own routine appointments, activities, etc, and schedule your au pair to work three hours each morning, which would bring your au pairs total weekly hours to 39. You could then have him/her work an extra 3 hours each on Friday and Saturday nights, for a total of 45 hours. Of course you want this schedule to be flexible. But it is important for your au pair to know in advance when his/her time off will be. This will enable him/her to register for classes (required under the educational component), visit friends (necessary for all of us), and generally recuperate from his/her scheduled work week.
Try to keep your au pair’s time off sacred. If you need to go to the grocery store or have lunch with a friend and it is his/her day off, try first to get a baby sitter. If you do this for the first couple of months, your au pair will be able to settle in and will trust that you will not constantly ask him/her to work during his/her scheduled time off. He/she will then be more willing to work with you on schedule changes.
Remember to work out vacation times early on. If you cannot give your au pair his/her two weeks consecutively, say so early before your au pair makes plans. If you want your au pair to take the two weeks off together, make arrangements early enough so that he/she will have time to coordinate his/her schedule with friends.
Do not view your au pair as a substitute mother. No one is going to care for your children, pitch in around the house, and be as tuned in to the family as you are. If you have five children and only one is at home in the mornings, the idea that “It’s no big deal, it’s only one kid” is not necessarily true. Whether it is five children or just one, it is still work to your au pair, and you should always be considerate of this when planning the schedule and delegating tasks.
Work on communication and trust early in the relationship and the rewards will be great. Most au pairs are a little nervous about at home mothers. Some host mothers have wanted their au pairs to be “on call” each day and work as the day presents itself. This just makes for very tense and distrustful situations. While this is not a “job” it is important for everyone to have some time away from the hustle and bustle, especially for someone who is processing everything in a second language.
Keep working on the schedule each month, and view it as a dynamic tool that will help you all get the most out of the year. If you need help, call on your local coordinator to assist you and your au pair on scheduling a fair and productive work week.
Be sure to schedule in your weekly meetings with the au pair. By setting aside a specific time each week to talk, it will help you and your au pair communicate openly and make the best of your relationship.
View these guidelines as suggestions to help you. It is important that you and your au pair start off on the right foot. Make every effort to plan ahead as much as possible so that your au pair will easily adjust to your family and lifestyle, and you will have a rewarding year together.